The Choices You Make That Make You
To study acting and become an actress of quality was my innate dream ever since I could remember. I attribute my insatiable desire to work in theatre to my diplomat father who was a wonderful entertainer and loved films, and my mother who loved the arts. I had watched films, ballet and theatre when I was young in Japan, and in Canada where I spent the formative years of my life. Their quiet, loving support afforded me a free, open and natural environment as I grew up. Nothing seemed impossible and so my journey has led me through so many unbelievable trips, work, events, theatre, films, and people – several lifetimes it seems, and yet it is still not enough to accomplish all that I wish.
The journey to become an actress was slightly more complicated than usual because of my mixed cultural upbringing. The ability to become a truly Japanese actress wasn’t easy both in language and in the experiences of culture. Yet perhaps the real deciding factor that brought me to The Neighborhood Playhouse was that though I was so determined to be a Japanese actress, I couldn’t find a training centre which I could really relate to in Japan. There was a basic truth I longed for in acting whereas, at that time in Japan, the acting seemed too indicative. I felt uncomfortable having to show rather than simply be or act. I could confirm what I felt from Richard Via, who had a long career on Broadway as actor, stage manager and director. He had come on a Fulbright and had directed me in “Picnic” when I was nineteen, and recommended me to the Playhouse.
Yet the training at the Neighborhood Playhouse hit me like a ton of bricks. First Sanford Meisner was revered and had such an overpowering presence that we hung onto each word. I personally was petrified of him though I know it wasn’t only me. Pretty soon, I was raising the stakes every time I would work in front of him so that physically as a natural reaction, my hands would be sweating, my heart pounding before I entered to do an exercise. When I tried too hard, it didn’t please him – when I worked simply, he liked what I did.
Day in and day out, I tried to put myself fully into the training but I began to realize an invasion inside me – a growing emptiness that no matter how hard I tried to get rid of I couldn’t. I was angry at myself, frustrated and hated that I could feel this way – I had left a boyfriend behind – it was easy when I left him as NY was the most important place for me to be but with time, and miles away when we didn’t have Email or telephone calls were a luxury, when a dollar was 365 Yen…. I had no way to reach him as I always used to. I do think it affected my work – my focus was not all there. Yet as I had told my fiancée at the time, I had to go as if I didn’t, I would regret it for the rest of my life, and as it turned out, it was a turning point in my life in many ways.
First, I believe I came to terms with my real self. We did the Repetition exercise, which trains you to work moment-by-moment, truthfully in reaction to the other actor. There was one moment which I can single out as a revelatory moment for me. I could see the other girls being able to “get the ball” and send it flying back. Yet, with me in that singular moment, what my partner gave to me hurt and hit deeply as he was being truthful yet there was no physical way I could give it right back. I realized much later that it was not in my nature to. That was my truth and my cultural identity. I was Japanese, or I attribute that to my Japanese nature. It took me a moment when his words like a knife sank in, and I took that “knife” out slowly and instead of “throwing” that knife back at him, I put it out to him, dripping with my blood, as it were.
I also realized something else about myself. I remember going to an audition and sitting beside me was an old lady with bright red lipstick, buttering up to the producer. I was horrified. I think if you are a real actor, and you wanted to act, nothing can stand in your way. Pride stood in my way. And so, I ended up deciding to marry under very dramatic circumstances. I realize now, as in acting, it’s the choices you make that make you. I know I am always looking for more interesting choices in all things.
Yet, with time for healing and creating a family, my soul called out for what I so needed – which was working with drama. I was asked to direct a production of university students in English. In three months, Japanese students would speak English doing this play!? If we could start with young children, how much better it would be for Japanese people who were finding it hard to speak English. And so I founded the Model Language Studio, teaching English through drama. It still continues and has churned out many students who are now using English in all walks of life. Through that experience, I found my true calling which is to direct. I have continued ever since. And I love it.
I also formed United Performers Studio to manage actors and to present productions, focusing on an acting school called UPS Academy, and casting for international productions. I did this so when I directed, I would work with actors I believes in. The thirst for learning has only grown and ever since I returned to Japan after my time in the United States. I have tried to incorporate, develop and hopefully create this training centre for the international actor with the help of so many amazing people who have either left us legacies or are continuing to do so including Sanford Meisner, Hedy Sontag, Frank Corsaro, Lee Strasberg, Keith Johnstone, and many others. The Japanese and Chinese traditions of movement and spiritual “Q” now work side by side in all of this extensive training.
I am now on a roller coaster ride – to produce films. I never realized the drama involved in producing and after a few, I want to direct a film which is now in the process of being written. I would think that it’s about time I stopped to smell the roses and baby-sat for my grandchildren, but not quite there yet – a few more films…just a few more films. 2010
Written exclusively for “The Soul of the American Actor.”
Yoko Narahashi is President of United Performers Studio, Inc. A director, producer, lyricist and writer, she received acting training at the Neighborhood Playhouse in New York. Among the plays and musicals she has directed include “Hair,” “The Magic Monkey,” and the award-winning “The Winds of God,” which was invited to perform in Los Angeles, New York (United Nations, Strasberg Institute, The Actors Studio), in Australia and New Zealand. “The Winds of God” was also the first feature film she directed (Japan Film Critics Award as Director). In 1974 She established the Model Language Studio, the first language school in Japan to teach English through the theater. She founded the United Performers’ Studio, a production (film, theatre, TV and video) and management company for professional actors, now focusing on casting and production work for film and television. In 1998, she founded UPS Academy, an acting school with an emphasis on Method acting. (contact@upsnews.co.jp, 310-473-7852)
